me? who's me? i don't who i am anymore. can somebody tell me who i am?
super bad morning & indescribable feeling bnr2 bikin gw nyampe ke titik puncak kegalauan gw. many untold stories that haven't been told to anyone cause i don't who i can talk to. what i feel right now is just one thing, alone. yeaa you might say i'm not alone cause we have HIM in our life. too good to be true, i do tell him what i am feeling everytime, but as a human being, i can't stand alone just by myself with noone around me who wants to listen or even just accompany me. i can't be strong with noone who can support me. i need someone in my life. a friend who can keep me strong and listen at my stories is more than enough. but now? the fact is more like hell. i just have friends who needs me only for have fun & never listen at my burdens. poor me.
in these last 2 weeks, i've just got unbelievable supperb great moments in my life. new friends. new mindset. new understanding. new happiness. and many more. it's really confusing for me. punya tmn byk, punya keluarga, tp ga ada yg mau secara sabar dengerin gw crita. bahkan dengerin gw ngmg pun kadang mrk enggan. gw tau kalo gw ngmg itu super rempong. tapi haruskah gw terima respon seperti itu? ga cuma crita sedih, bahkan gw mau berbagi kebahagiaan aja rasanya susah banget krn uda gatau lagi mau crita ke siapa. buat gw itu suatu kebahagiaan yg gw pgn sharing to someone, tp hasilnya nihil or malah bahkan negatif. ada bbrp dr mrk yg mungkin akan langsung mikir gw sombong krn tiap kali crita slalu ttg luar negri. apa ga boleh kalo seseorang ingin berbagi kebahagiaan mereka? apa kehidupan gw harus disamakan dan disetarakan sama mereka spy gw bs crita semuanya? gw bner2 gatau lagi sedalem apa kesedihan gw skarang harus ngalamin lagi yg namanya ga punya tmpat sampah buat buang semua unek2 or bahkan rak buku yg buat jadi tmpat crita kebahagiaan gw.
i am lost. lost in the middle of my own friends. all i can do is just pray and wait till the time i could have someone who really cares to me and can complete my life as a human being. (read: manusia adalah makhluk sosial yg ga bs hidup sendiri dan selalu mbutuhkan sesama.) my big question is: "SIAPAKAH SESAMA GUE???"
a few hours chatted with my friend. got a same perception. got a same great memories. banyak hal tak terduga yg bnr2 ngubah hidup gw. thanks for the sharing. baru aja dibahas kmrn, tiba2 hari ini gw ngalamin hal yg serupa with my friend. thanks for your caring. you're not my closest friend. but you and your friends are always care with us. that's exactly why we really like to be your friends. honestly, it's hard to explain and describe the thing. mereka yg sangat beda dgn kita ini yg justru care & mau bantu kita, bukan malah mereka yg sama dgn kita dan mengaku sbg teman kita. please ambil kaca besar di rmh lo & buka mata kalian. suatu saat kalian akan menyesali hal itu, lihat saja.
cuma ini yg bisa gw lakuin utk saat ini. krn gw bnr2 gatau siapa yg bnr2 tmn gw. seorg tmn harusnya mau mengerti dan peduli dgn sesamanya. semoga pengertian ttg teman mnurut persepsi gw itu ga salah.
(ps. wipe tears)
