Smile on My Face

What’s the use of fight for something that’s not worth it???

There are still thousands of people who would like to accept you in the way you are.

That’s actually my best quote of the day from my friend. J

Banyak banget hal yg bikin gw tersenyum hari ini wpun masih ada hal2 kecil yg gak gw harapin itu terjadi. Ohh well, don’t expect to much deh kalo ke mereka hahaha bukannya jahat tapi i’ve been trying so hard but i never get their positive response. Bahkan mungkin mereka cenderung gak peduli dan anggap gw ada. Ok then, i thing it’s more than enough gw slalu ngomongin ‘the useless friend’. Now, let’s move on to the things that make me ‘smile’ for today.. J

First.

Last night, yeaa last night. Skype bareng ms.D bahas MIS case itu seneng banget lohh. Kangen juga ngobrol & bergosip berduaan malem2 hahaha. Di tengah bahas MIS case, tiba2 Metro TV yang lagi tayangin “Delux Symphony” mainin lagu ‘Melati Suci’. Ohh maaaiiii, a day before itu udah sempet GALAU TOTAL sama ms.A daannn tiba2 lagu ini muncul aja gituuhh. L Akhirnya gw langsung bbm ms.A dan nyuruh dia ntn jugak. Akhirnya kita pun kembali galau krn kangen nyanyi, kangen padus, kangen suara dahsyatnya mr.T dan kangen diocehin waktu latian, huaaaa!!! Lagu ini pun selesai, dilanjutin sama lagu2 Disney. Aaaaaaa!!! Bukannya bikin seneng kok ya malah makin galau lagi. L Makin kangen nyanyi kalo gini caranya yaowooohh!!! Kangen jugaakk masa2 waktu masih ada mr.N yg suka banget mainin lagu2 Disney begini, hiks. Conclusion of this section sebenernya satu sih, G A L A U ! L Wpun gitu, skype with ms.D and galau chatting with ms.A itu bener2 bikin seneng lohh! Ditambah lagi lanjutan obrolan galau pagi ini sama ms.A hahaha. K a c a u A h h . . !

Second.

Baru aja sampe di kampus dan gw langsung ktemu sama ms.R. Bukan maksud gw seneng sama apa yg udah kejadian, but i’m pretty happy for our friendship. Sebulan bareng ditambah sharing bareng rame2 sama yg lain bikin gw merasa ada lagi teman2 baru yg ada di sekitar gw dan mau trima gw apa adanya. Yeaa it’s what we called a true friend! That’s why i gave her my warm hug waktu ketemu itu tadi. Entah kenapa, gw beneran ikut sedih lohh sama kejadian itu. L Mungkin karena banyak cerita tentang ‘dia’ kali ya selama kita sharing rame2. Be brave, girl! J

Third.

Hemm.. i’ve just realized how friendship works in differences. It’s super true kalo gw udah lama di CISV dan ikut berbagai international camps since 2002. Tapi kok rasanya susah banget ya diterapin di kehidupan sebenernya?? Ahh sudahlah, itu cuma perjalanan hidup yg ga akan pernah mulus or even lurus. Back to the story, waktu istirahat pun akhirnya gw ke PM Store buat jajan kopi & ajak ms.M buat jajan bareng. Sambil jalan bareng itu gw akhirnya cerita lagi tentang masalah ituh dan ternyata bener ajah kalo ekspresi / responnya sama keq yg lainnya. She was shocked by the way. Haha i have no more comment for that kind of problem. I feel very happy kalo ternyata semua yg gw lakuin emang udah bener kok. J

At last i would like to thanks for our friendship ya ms.R, ms.M, ms.D, ms.A, dan yg laennya. J

Like what i’ve said in my previous blog:

I LOVE BEING WITH YOU, MY unexpected FRIEND!

(untitled)

idk how to start it.                                           #nowplaying  I Won't Give Up - Jason Mraz

hard to explain my REAL feeling now. mungkin ini yg jadi alesan knp akhirnya i'm back to write on this blog. i don't want to have this feeling but it always comes up on my mind like everyday and everytime i'm alone. pikiran lari kemana2 dan tetep aja ujung2nya ya ksitu lagi.

feel lonely. jealous. revenge.

first of all, let's start from feel lonely.

i am here alone in my room dan cuma ada laptop (include internet) ditemenin sama TV yg acaranya itu2 aja diulang berkali2. it's April already. means udah satu bulan gw lewatin hari2 gw di Jakarta setelah sebulan di Cianjur. too good to be true, i miss my life in Cianjur so f*ckin' much! live with new friends. see them everytime and everyday. have a stupid little chit-chat. have a deep sharing sometimes. and there are still many more that i can't express it in words. ohh gosh, how i feel lonely to be in my room alone and just be with my crazy gadgets which i don't really like with this kind of life style. what else i could do?? hangout with friends?! they have their own schedule. go to the mall?! i hate crowded mall. karaoke?! am i a stupid little kid who do the karaoke thingy alone???? OHH GEEESSSHH!!!! i'm stuck in my own world.

i miss living together with friends and have an intense and deep conversations

with them as well! i miss CISV. i miss Comdev. ohh i miss it so much!!

ok. let's move on to jealous.

i'm sorry but i can't share this thing on this blog. eventho' it's my own blog, but i just want to keep it secret.

and last, revenge.

i know, seharusnya gw ga bole bgini. but it's always stuck in my head. gw bener2 ga ngerti sama orang-orang itu. gw pikir satu makhluk ini beda sama mreka, tp ternyata??? sama aja akutnya. ga bisa lebih heran lagi dr ini. sorry, but just because of this problem, i can't RESPECT to you all anymore. gw udah ilang kepercayaan or even sakit hati dengan perlakuan sperti itu. gw ga gila hormat, tp gw cuma butuh your EMPATHY to others. DO YOU REALLY HAVE IT IN YOUR DEEPEST HEART???? i don't thing you have it, cause you've shown me all of those things. sorry tapi lu udah kecewain gw sangat amat di saat gw lagi brusaha percaya dan kembali RESPECT sama lo smua. gw yakin kalo suatu saat, apa yg udah lo lakuin ke org lain itu akan berbalik lagi ke lo. - yeaa, sh*t happens! eat that sh*t! -

my super big thanks to you who really care to me, wpun sbelum i didn't expect kalo justru kalian yg akan RESPECT ke gw. and sorry for you you you and you yang bener2 udah bikin gw hilang kepercayaan buat pertahanin pertemanan ini.

i better find someone else who cares to me than i have to fight to be your friend,

tapi kalian gak pernah anggap gw ada.

I LOVE BEING WITH YOU, MY unexpected FRIENDS! :*

cheers. GodBless.                                                                                      In communion,

                                                                                                                          Ichitaa.